i think about clubs too much. day and night. It’s not about sacrificing myself for the club’s sake or for others ‘ sake anymore. But this “organizing-urge” has become madness.

I think about clubs as if it’s the only channel i could use to contribute and serve others. I think about clubs as a place for me to develop myself. Part of it is undeniably true. Yet, there are many other ways for me to channel my interest and ability in fairly the same healthy way.

and actually there are more than once that i was “given” the chance to organize stuffs, only to find out in the end that i’m organizing it alone. with least help from others, but merely moral supports – if there’s any.

كُتِبَ عَلَيۡڪُمُ ٱلۡقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرۡهٌ۬ لَّكُمۡ‌ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَهُوَ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّڪُمۡ‌ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ۬ لَّكُمۡ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعۡلَمُ وَأَنتُمۡ لَا تَعۡلَمُونَ

“Striving in Allah’s Cause is ordained for you though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” Al-Baqarah: 216

I think i’ve figured out what I “like” in this case. and perhaps I have to give it up someday.

“when we lessen our attachments, life becomes much sweeter” (S,2009)


~ by littlehobbit on September 30, 2009.

2 Responses to “Clubbing-urge”

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