Black jack!!

P

a failed attempt 😛

20th dec 1987 – 20th dec 2008 ( 21 years)

I’m 21 years old already. Still single and always ponder whether i’m actually available. o_O.

This year, i’ve gone through a lot.. damn lot.  sadness and joice were all in equal terms. i appreciate what i had, because that’s what made me the way I am today.

This year my birthday celebration is a bit lonely.or should I say..there’s no celebration at all. there was just one visit last night from chouji & yusman. they brought me my birthday muffins (yummy 🙂 ). and during the day i went to 222A the terrace to hang out, but basically i just want to feel the presence of others. After all, living with just one working kiwi housemate seems like living by myself. i’m grateful to have friends like them, damn much. Tahun depan mereka pula pulang.and I shall be lonely again 😦

It’s raining pretty heavy today, just adding up the depressed and lonely feelings.Gloomy. When i recalled the joice i had in my birthday last year, I cannot help but feel a bit sad. Those who were with me last year are not here this year. And quite a number of them might not return to Wellington ever. In short, my feelings are:

grateful

sad

lonely

gloomy

In my other blog or facebook i described what i had for today but i didn’t include my true feelings.. i’m grateful, but not really as happy as i supposed to be.

a successful attempt (2007) baked by kak ummi

a successful attempt (2007) baked by kak ummi

Probably i ponder/cling so much to my past. I knew all along that the time will come for me to depart with those people but yes, I will always remember what I had, whom I’m with every now and then. The truth is,  I miss them, badly.

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~ by littlehobbit on December 20, 2008.

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